55. Deathrow High

Music kills! I got my hands waving in the air to the command of every beat. Fat Boy wields his magic, typical of the musical warlock that he is. He rules over the party people of Kuala Lumpur with one swipe of his sound. The crowd interacts with the DJ, creating vibes, vibes that could very well be expressions of clueless hype – they know what is what but they don’t know what is what, they just strut, what the fuck.

I fall under this category. The atmosphere floods and I feel as if I’d been taken to another dimension where reality is not what it seems. I can fly…like a fucking bird (of prey), I can fly. At times I have my hands out wide, pretending they’re wings as I soar up into the heavens where my being is transformed and cleansed from all the unnecessary baggage it’d been carrying. There in this pure land, I see Ai Leen…and very soon we become one tangled mess.

Opening my eyes, I see her next to me…applying her motions to my frame. We became the hub of attention as we started to playfully caress, in rhythm to the song as if it were a seduction game we imposed on the crowd. Whatever it was, it worked. There were cheers all around. I snapped out of my high and immediately felt ill at ease with all that limelight. Ai Leen was unbothered. She hooked me up like a computer to the Internet and I was lost in space again.

Everything happened within fractions of a second, my mood flinging from one end to the other. Usually, from past observations, I take a considerable amount of time to shift from one emotional state to another, but tonight, for the first time, I was switching off from fear to confidence without any effort involved. It was as if a spring was released. I didn’t have to hype myself up to attain that mental level…it was waiting for me.

I realized my error. I’d been trying too hard all this time, I’d been trying too hard to feel good, to feel cool, to be a confident person…I didn’t have to… All I had to do was just…be.

Be…

Again I found this out through Ai Leen. With the euphoria kicking within, I caught hold of her and planted hot icy smooches between her lips. Tongues lashing, I imagined a plant growing from our mouths, feeding countless others with an insatiable fill overflowing the universe.

Suddenly, I had the solution for all the world’s problems. Forget aid for the downtrodden; forget the strife to be a better man. Forget it all! Just dance…and let the music fill your soul. As it happens, you don’t wish to go to war, you don’t want to fight. You don’t want to hold on to any traces of anger and be bitter. You just want to love. You just want to smile. All things become beautiful and you achieve pleasure. Why? Because you’re free. Unrestrained by the ego, your id is at liberty to be the pure pleasure seeker that it is.

Ignore religion and the teaching of the elders. This is it. This is truth!

AI generated art prompted by author

All characters and events, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental