96. God of the Game
On the Eight Day
Rose before the sun. A new week greets with even newer opportunities for capricious, wanton and mischievous madness. One rest day is enough to set my sirens off, my systems on, and the libidinous engine revving to go. I am ready, I am hyped, and I am warmed up as Bruce Lee is before a fight. Red kung-fu pants, barefooted, a black pearl crimson dragon tattoo sculpted along my spine; masculine torso and abdominal muscles showing off its every lean line; knuckles wrapped, and glued to broken glass; a devilish grin sets girls ablaze - I prance, I pounce, I punch, and the announcer through the biggest, meanest loudspeakers broadcast, “In this corner, weighing eight hundred and fifty pounds...” Sizing up my opponent, I’m dying to play again.
Ripped off that bastard’s face, filled the chalices of the drunk and ravenous crowd with ogre’s blood, fed the carcass to my hounds; and the three-eyed bust, it presently bedecks my living room as a taxidermy ornament, festooned along a high and wide wall which stretches beyond the rims of Earth, a treasure trove of my numerous victories, the decorative heads of giants, gentlemen and gals, souvenirs I’d collected down my long and everlasting life.
Champagne time. Drinking off the overflowing bottle, I ponder, what next? Projected my mind onto a nebulous white wall; googled the options.
Page 1 of search:
A Day at Deity High
Be a kid again. Return to high school. But not just any school; enrol at Deity High, where daddy and mummy gods send their precocious offspring. Learn how to exercise your omnipotence, screw with the fate of mortals. Make them cry out to you in the perilous moments you allotted them; those puppets, let them know who’s boss! Gratify in their obedience.
Enjoy our second-to-none science labs and art rooms. Design your dimensions. It’s okay if your laws of physics do not work properly; we believe error is the mother of evolution. So what if the volcanoes don’t go off on time, or the planets do not align, the important thing is that you tried, and you had loads of fun along the way.
Tour this site. Read more. Play now.
Kreator & Nephlim Alliance: The Fall of Syurga?
Go behind the scenes in this documentary and stay up to date on the embittered development affecting us all in our beloved planet-city state. Hear from the mouths of those at the negotiation table.
Naysayer prophets proclaim that, whatever the outcome, whether the deal goes through or not, the split and destruction of Syurga is inevitable, for the planet is already plagued with greed, and the alliance would only circulate the fruits of power in a few hoary hands.
Other oracles, more hopeful, believe that once the dirty laundry is aired and the details ironed, a benevolent agreement can be attained for the general good of the public. Naturally, such opinion is not spared its cynics, claiming it a childish and naive worldview.
Then there are the sorcerers who wish to keep the status quo. Why fix that which is not broke? While some seers disagree, and opine that Syurga is already too steep in anarchy, and the alliance would welcome in a new order of predictability.
As for the anarchic wizards, they petition the gods of mayhem. A renegade sect wrecked discord during arbitration sessions, even waylaying the deities involved, and invoking pranks at the high-courts and heavenly mansions.
Choose your side to support.
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Pussy Envy, the Male Dilemma
Ideal for men moaning their lost femininity as well as the pathetic woman wanting to bask in male sexual predicaments. Tear through this voracious read, the latest by Sigmund Freud, a conclusion of his studies from beyond the grave.
This interactive book is illustrated by colourful case studies. Go back in time and possess the souls of guys pretending to be girls over the Internet, seducing other hapless males. Feel what they feel; experience their sensations. Then go on a shopping spree with a flock of chicks; feel that too. And then, know what it’s like brooding alone in a strip club; with inspiration from an exotic dancer, fantasize away what you’d do to her with that throbbing organ of yours, your myopic revenge on the female race. All at your expense of course, as you pay that salacious tart, and she goes out to buy the sexiest pumps your hard earned moolah can purchase.
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Jimi & the Galactic Empire
Live as a rock star! You are Killa, Turbo, Vince van Vobo and Yvper: members of Zero - the greatest band on Earth; and you are after that one killer hit that will alter the future and change the worlds.
But wait, robots and hot tranny whores are closing in on you. You gotta escape, you gotta tour, and you gotta give `em violence, sex and rock & roll!
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My Name is Legion: Managing Multiple Avatars
This is not a disorder, but it can be pretty insane juggling many intricate and complexly woven characters in the even more convoluted plot of life. Sometimes it does get tangled up; and that’s when we arrive.
The manual first teaches you to accept. This is who you are. Or rather, they are who you are. All of them, all your incarnations, though they may be in conflict, though they may be zooming in and out, and off to the many corners of existence, and yes, though you may meet them again, unrecognizable; yet, each rebel is still a child of your cells.
Through a step-by-step, easy-to-exercise navigation therapy, regain control of all your renegade avatars.
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The Original Bowie’s Knife
Trace the mysterious and enigmatic daggers. Handcrafted, jewel encrusted, their origins (fable tells) are even before Leper & the Gunk’s development of Hell. Disclaimer: the game manufacturer disputes this theory. They say there is but a single blade; and they forged it. But the alternate argument of the legend states the plural (how many, is not quantified), and that they’d surfaced frequently in history.
Azazel (godfather of the Nephlim), according to non-canonized scripture taught men to make swords and knives, and the art of metal for jewellery. He later commissioned the Katana and the Bowie, and decreed that steel would always change the course of history.
Explore conjectures and speculations; speak to lives whom the weapons had touched and study the corresponding changes of fate they’d brought. The precognitive nature of these finely wrought instruments of death will find the hand of a ‘chosen one’ destined to commit the deed(s) that would revolutionize the timeline.
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Spacetime Management
If running a conglomerate is boggling business, try running spacetime continuum. All those sci-fi laws, all those celestial orbits; all those whiny humans begging for your attention! A new car, a higher salary; please god, protect our son, give our daughter distinctions, heal mother of cancer; oh...why did papa die? Why did my best friend commit suicide? Why are there drug addicts? And crime? And rape? And all kinds of nasty deeds? I hate you, god! I love you...blah blah blah...praises, complaints, nonstop supplications; ungrateful children forgetting earlier blessings, a self-imposed memory loss. These heralds and hums, booming thunders of a zillion cacophonies coming at all angles, like missiles on every frequency imaginable... a lesser person would go crazy.
How do the famous deities do it? Find out their secrets. Read interviews with the likes of the immaculate and eccentric Jahr, the promiscuous Olympian who rides by the title Zeus, the pluralistic Queen of Heaven, G.o.D - mechanized processor of Genomes on Demand - and many others.
More golden nuggets within...
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Sha-Rronne’s Toy Boys
A saucy reality show tailing young boys vying to be Sha-Rronne’s manwhore. This episodic programme produced by the goddess’ media co. shadows the social quarantine of fourteen juvenile males on a paradise island over thirteen weeks where all their needs and wants are pampered in exchange for total submission to their mistress. Their bodies, minds and morals are exposed to the most dominating of tests, and each week, a candidate is sent packing after a good spanking. In the finale, the remaining two would have matured into any woman’s dream stud. Regardless who Sha-Rronne picks as parvenu to a polyamorous pantheon, they are both already winners who can satisfy a black hole bitch.
Episode 1 airs today.
Casting for Season 2 is now open. Send in your videos showing off your package.
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Tapestry 14
Continue with the omen of the book of good, and a new cast, as its proselytes Detective Lingam & Sergeant Siva, Kunty Kaur and Madame Medusa establish a new religion to counter the deadening and diabolical indoctrination of the unholy triumvirate of Master Wan, Wong Boom Bong and Pomelo Anderson, aka the Ageless, the god-Boy and the Barbie.
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The Cosmic Disco of Creation
Who says the act of creation is difficult and only for those that are talented? Now anyone can create. And lose weight in the process, too.
With easy to follow dance steps, ranging from relaxed to vigorous, you would be burning calories in no time. What more, the fat and sweat you shed will not go to waste; but rather, automatically transform as they roll off your being, with the help of our AI subconscious guide, into the world and universe of your dreams, ideal for your new and improved perfect self to enjoy.
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Next: Page 2 of ∞
The cursor of my awareness bleeps. I have mail. Vesper and Jai-I, leading a regiment into Nimrod’s dominion; my captaincy over a battalion would be highly valuable and appreciated. The objective is to retake ZOOL.A.ND (though the damage by now would have been complete, perhaps irreversible, and nothing of the computer realm would be recognizable. More practical to reconfigure a new-fangled virtual sphere from the backup drives; but I guess the manoeuvre is more a question of pride) and unite the same son of Jahr. What is the state of the other Jai-I is beyond anyone’s comprehension, but Vesper is optimistic, and hopeful Leper & the Gunk’s bitter blade would have injected a poison, a malady, into the veins of the preadolescent deity and possess him with an adult’s pessimism of despair.
I guess I would join...but later. For now, I’ve made up my mind. I scrolled up the webpage and clicked the fourth, Jimi & the Galactic Empire, my current choice.
THE END, AND THE BEGINNING AFTER THE END
AI generated art prompted by author
All characters and events, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.